When you think of the Netherlands (or is it Holland, I’m never sure the politically correct term and the Dutch people can get agro so I’ve avoided asking anyone…) you might think of the following:
- Clogs
- Windmills
- Prostitutes
- ‘Coffee’ shops and,
- Lots of fair headed people that say ‘yah’ in a Dutch accent a lot.
If you said any combination of the above (of course people would prioritise that specific list differently depending on their….interests…) you would be exactly correct.
That is exactly what the Netherlands is – but strangely it’s the stereotypicalness of it that makes you love it even more! Louise and I arrived with a few expectations all of which were more than thoroughly exceeded.
We were there for four days and in very untypical style of me we hadn’t booked anywhere to stay yet. After visiting a accommodation information booth we were assured by a nice Dutch man that the ‘White Tulip’ hostel would have room for us. How relieved we were that two sweet, innocent girls could get accommodation at such short notice at such a lovely named facility.
Needless to say when we rocked up to the ‘White Tulip’ in the middle of the Red Light District sandwiched between a rowdy Irish pub and a ‘coffee’ shop, we were thinking perhaps a more indicative name change would be appropriate.
Surprisingly though, I actually quite liked the place. In terms of location we couldn’t have asked for better because despite its interesting choice of after dark activities, the Red Light District is really central to the main sight seeing parts of Amsterdam. The people were nice and were kind enough to remind us that all the valued White Tulip guests received 10% off on all mushroom products at this certain place down the road.
Obviously not referring to the button variety of course.
A large majority of Day One was spent trying to suss the maps out and wandering up and down the alley ways. Came across this typical little Dutch pub with a little outdoor seating area right on the canal, where aptly named ‘pub guy’ (he never told us his name) took very good care of us bringing menus, more cider and a blanket each for us when it started to get cold (seriously!).
The Canals of Amsterdam are by far its shining jewel (again others would disagree in accordance with their interests…) We bought a ticket for a hop on and hop off tour on a canal bus which cruises five different routes with over 30 stops, winding past all the best parts of Amsterdam. We stopped at these cute little markets for an hour or so, and enjoyed a coffee in the Dutch sunshine before hopping back on the canal bus to head back to the city.
(The main canal of Amsterdam is the River Amstel and when a dam was built on it, the city was coined Amsteldam and then later shortened to Amsterdam. See Mum, I did learn something useful!)
The food we had was TO DIE FOR. You wouldn’t wanna live there unless you had the intention to look like an elephant but because we were only there for a weekend it was no holds barred with the eating! Waffles, chocolate waffles, pretty much any kind of waffle, apple pie (OMG the apple pie…), cone fries (fries served in a paper cone with different sauces and this weird fork thingy), stoopenwaffels (these weird dutch biscuit things that Louise and I got hooked on), croissants – you name any food item with over 500 calories, we ate it!
On our last full day we thought we better humble ourselves with a little trip to the Dutch countryside. There are planned tour groups that go out to the Volendam, Edam and various other little traditional Dutch towns but we decided they would be full of old people and that we were strong, independent women who could get ourselves there without the need for an old fogey tour.
My, were we sadly mistaken. After catching the wrong bus and then having to dash across the road fearing for our lives to catch the one back to the Ferry where we started, we finally got on the right bus and got to Volendam. The place was typically Dutch, I half expected all the women to be wearing pointy hats and aprons and clogs! Was a little harbourside town so followed the boardwalk along the tourist route. Ate, yet MORE Dutch food, and listened to the old Dutch locals having a sing along on the sidewalk. Perfect afternoon.
A quick word on the transport systems of Amsterdam. Here is the pecking order as follows:
Trams
Cars
Mopeds
Bicycles
Pedestrians
Tourists
I swear we nearly died two or three times, they just come out of everywhere! And the amount of bikes! OMG the amount of bikes! At least we figured out why there is no such thing as a fat Dutch person – they eat all their fattening food but ride all day long running tourists over in the process! Although pub guy did say the one thing Dutch people hate the most is tourists who just walk out in front of the bikes, in our defense you have to look in a million different directions and they ride on the footpath with the pedestrians! We barely even get look in! Thought about perhaps renting some bikes cause it’s a great way to see the city but we decided we weren’t aggressive enough for Dutch bikes. You have to be a menace with that bike bell!!!
Oh I would also like to take a moment here to record three of my dear friend’s precious ‘Louise moments’…haha you are gonna hate me for this tomorrow…..
#1: Because of the immense immensity of the Waffle population in Amsterdam (a large proportion of which we attempted to become acquainted with) led Louise to coin the term ‘you have been waffled’
#2: To catch the bus to the little traditional Dutch town of Volendam we were informed by the transport office that we had to take a ferry if we were going to do it today because a marathon was blocking the usual route. Now bless her soul Louise is not really good with boats and was quite anxious as to how long this ferry ride would be. The guy assured us it was only five minutes but Louise was NOT convinced and proceeded to explain to the man how she really didn’t like boats and was he sure it wasn’t going to be a bad ride. We rocked up to the dock and realised it was a ferry across the CANAL and we could have thrown a stone further. Now we realised why the Dutch guy looked at us really funnily…..
#3 And the penultimate Louise moment of them all…… Dear Louise was, one night, writing postcards to her family and friends back home. I asked her if she was going to be sending them while we were in Amsterdam. She replied (deadly seriously) ‘Well I would but I don’t know my parents address’. Needless to say I suffered immense injury from falling off the top bunk DOUBLED over in laughter…..
So just before I head off to party with some of us old fogey exchange students (strangely enough partying with maggoted 17 year old English people isn’t super appealing….) here are three things I know about Amsterdam:
Is Dutch food the reason why obesity is such a global epidemic?
DEFINITELY
Are there more bicycles per capita than ‘red light district workers’?
MAYBE
Will I ever forget having a lazy Strongbow or two under an umbrella on the edge of a beautiful Amsterdam canal?
PROBABLY NOT!
X
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