Location: seated in the Hudson’s Coffee shop in the domestic terminal of the Melbourne International Airport. Sitting somewhat illegally I might add due to the lack of acquired Hudson’s product on my table at current time.
Imminent ejection from the Hudson’s specific sitting area is predicted.
The guy next to me expresses his annoyance at having to fork out $9 for his coffee and sandwich. Apparently he didn’t get the memo every other single person in the world did that it is compulsory for all airport essentials to be grossly overpriced.
Six hours into the trip, enough time to have made a few astute observations.
Observation #1: Do not overload fragile handbags with heavy electrical equipment that you are trying to take on the plane to avoid paying excess on it. It is not a solution and merely results in a broken handbag which means you now have an extra thing to carry on top of your heavy electrical equipment.
Thank god for sale racks – ill say that, which played a large part in thankfully rectifying my handbag situation.
Observation #2: All flights experience a little turbulence. There is no need to put your head between your knees and proceed to absolve your lifetime’s worth of sins to his Holiness above. The plane will not crash and he does not care.
Observation #3: Avoid getting a window seat next to a fat person.
Actually rephrase that, avoid getting any seat next to a fat person.
At lastly the most important observation of them all, #4:
It is not physically possible to get yourself and your large suitcase in the toilet cubicle at the same time. You cannot leave the suitcase outside unattended because of obvious reasons.
You don’t want it to get scared by itself.
Oh and you don’t want anyone to steal your crap.
You cannot leave yourself outside the cubicle because that completely defeats the purpose of the toilet-ing exercise.
It was the kind of square peg round hole type situation that provided immense entertainment for the many other bladder emptying women in the toilets at the time.
Sadly I did not share in their laughter.
As a result of the failure of the experiment I did not drink anything else until I could check my large suitcase in, which I might add was 5 hours later.
Utter self sacrifice.
The flight was typical of every other 14 hour flight: long, boring and very uncomfortable. Getting into Abu Dhabi I noticed a couple of things.
a) The heat. After leaving a dreary Melbourne 38 degrees was a bit of a wakeup call. Shoulda packed my shorts.
b) Despite my unfounded predisposed opinions, the Arabian people were really nice. Most that I encountered spoke really good English and had a sense of humour. Quote of the hour came from a gorgeous little Arabian girl who was with her father behind me in the line to board the plane. They were both dressed in traditional clothing (which is a little intimidating I must admit) and the father asked the little girl to hold her passport so she could give it to the ‘nice lady’ to which she replied ‘don’t give them my lolly dad’. I couldn’t help but laugh are assure her the ‘nice lady’ wouldn’t want her lolly.
‘But just in case’ was her reply. So adorable.
Abu Dhabi to Manchester sat next to an Englishman and his son who had been on the same flight from Melbourne. They were over there to getting permanent residency in preparation for moving over there at the end of the year. Both were so nice and in the cramped conditions amongst a lot of tired, grumpy (and smelly) people it is a relief. Chatted about what I’m doing and England and the inevitable subject that seems to come up every time I tell someone I’m from Australia – how cold England is in comparison to Aus!
Got through the immigration process fine (!!!!!!!!) and got a taxi to the Jury’s Inn. The taxi was black (hehe so English) and made a right dick of myself when I tried to get in the passenger seat.
They don’t have them.
Got to the Jury Inn where the albeit nice receptionist informed me there was no reservation under my name.
Excellent.
After I showed her all the evidence that I did have a reservation (and had paid for it as well!) she made a new one for me.
The jetlag is kicking in and the floor is spinning so gotta go but here’s the most important parts of the day.
Is Australia is a LONG way from England and is waiting at airports is now my least favourite past time?
DEFINITELY
Are all English boys so good looking?
MAYBE (from what ive seen about the place lets hope so!)
After only one day will I ever get sick of being ‘The Australian’?
PROBABLY NOT!
X
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